For decades I sought ‘the artist within’ and the source of ‘my creativity’.  I worried about my lack of formal art education.  I worked at healing my ‘creative spirit’.  I researched everything I could find written about the phenomenon we call creativity – what fosters it, what blocks it, what it IS.
 
And for decades I was puzzled by the ineffable state that bloomed when – somehow – ‘I-as-artist’ disappeared and something wholly mysterious seemed to flow in with results that would amaze and humble me.  What was going on?
 
I watched this carefully and rather warily – trying not to jump to conclusions grasped from outside my own experience.  It was like chewing on a rubbery gob-stopping life-koan that couldn’t be swallowed or spat out:  If I wasn’t making the decisions involved in a work, what was?
 
When ripeness was ripe the puzzle resolved itself in its own way.  What happened?

I woke up to the obvious, like waking up after a weird dream: Within full sensory immersion in the now-moment there is no awareness of a separate self.  There is just creative intelligence in action, sensing, assessing, making.  Not ‘my’ creativity (although it seems we must speak of it that way).  Not ‘not-mine’, either.

Resolving this riddle had nothing to do with any effort on my part.  On the contrary: I learned early-on that mental scrutiny ensured the absence of the mystery.  Over time, my wonderings quite naturally focused more and more on simply being present, simply resting there and resisting the reflex to move into analysis and speculation.

This was a real challenge for me because I have one of those brains that functions equally effectively in analytical and intuitive modes, swinging seamlessly from one to the other. Yet while it seemed that analytical activities were necessary to generate energy for the task, there came a point when they had to subside and leave space for something else to enter.  And they don’t simply subside on demand!

We are expertly trained in reflexive analysis and speculation, which usually results in our following tracks already laid down by others.  We conform.  We want to be accepted, to gain approval.  The creative questions that are unique to our field of experience and predisposition are buried, silent.  The immeasurable and indefinable movement of creativity remains impotent.

Mind that is free to court the creative questions which Life itself provides is natural mind.  Why aren’t we steered towards this free, unconditioned mind?  Why does our education fail to encourage us to unearth the questions that really matter to us? Should that not be the primary concern of our educators?

Questions like these laid out my path as an artisan and an educator.

the via creativa pages can be read in full on the wonderingmind website